Internal Battles

The last time I posted was July 27. Wow, almost a month. A lot of mental battles. Some struggling with the numbers. I was very, VERY tired. Maybe it was the heat. Whatever it was, I was tired of playing this game. Despite the struggle, I’m very proud of myself. I didn’t quit.

Despite very little positive reinforcement on the scale, I didn’t give up. Remember, this isn’t a diet. It isn’t a temporary set of rules I have to follow. I am changing my life. I’m choosing to move in a different, healthier, more positive direction.

So, while there are external challenges – things that tug at my convictions – I continued to move forward.

I didn’t write because I didn’t want to share that I was “blah”. It wasn’t even that really. I just didn’t want to hear encouragement from my friends. Yes, I’m weird. I know you all would have rallied around me and shared plenty of love and encouragement for me. And for that I thank you and love you bunches and bunches.

But I needed to work through this myself. I needed to find the strength inside myself to push forward and make the right decisions for ME. I didn’t want to (nor did I need to) be making any decisions because of what other people expect of me (or what I think they expect of me).

So, I move forward to make a better life for me. Selfish, maybe. But when I am a better, stronger, healthier, there’s more of me to share with other people – despite the fact that the physical me is getting smaller.

YAY me!! Current weight loss is 74.6 pounds. Less than one half a pound away from 75!!!!  I plan to cross that threshold very, very soon.


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