Something is wrong this morning. I feel an unbelievably heightened sense of agitation. I want to peel the skin off my arms and my legs. I can’t sit still for five minutes and focus on anything. I am not sleepy, but I want to go back to sleep. I want the day to be over.
I know this feeling. I had it once before when I was pregnant with Nathan. My nausea medication sent me into a chemical depression.
I called the doctor’s office, and they have cancelled my treatment for this afternoon, and possibly for tomorrow as well. One of the possible side effects from interferons is depression, possibly hallucinations. Seriously?!
I am not having suicidal thoughts. I don’t want to hurt myself or anyone else. They made me promise if I feel that way that I will immediately call 911. I DON’T FEEL THAT WAY!!
I just feel like a caged animal, unexplainably agitated.
So, I’m a little disappointed that I won’t be half-way through the treatments this afternoon, but am grateful that I’ve gotten someone’s attention that something isn’t right. I’m going to see the doctor tomorrow at 1pm. They will adjust the cocktail and probably give me something for depression and then we will start again. I’m not sure if it will start back up on Tuesday or Wednesday. At this point, I don’t really care. I just want my immediate world to settle down.