Wondering Why

Today my heart is so heavy. Fortunately for me, writing helps lift some of the burdens. Thank you for reading my blog and sharing my journey with me.

Do you ever wonder “why?” Why some things happen to some people and not to others? I usually don’t. God has blessed me with childlike faith. He promised he would provide and that he would always be here with me. He has proven himself over and over and over again. So, when something comes up, I take God at his word. God gently reminds me that it’s all part of His plan. He helps redirect my focus so I can continue on, in peace.

But yesterday, I started pondering “why”.

I learned that a precious friend was being sent home from the hospital with hospice. Pastor Bruce Campbell (New Hope Baptist, Sedalia, MO) learned that after quite a battle with cancer, his liver is failing. They have stopped the chemo and will be sending him home. And soon, Jesus will call him HOME.

Knowing Bruce, he’s probably comforting everyone around him, sharing the gospel with every ounce of energy he has.  My heart hurts so much for the people who will be left behind, but what great comfort it must be to know (beyond any doubt) that you’re soon going to be with Jesus. But why has Bruce had to endure such a difficult journey – one where treatment didn’t seem to have much impact?

I think of beautiful Denise. She has battled cancer for over ten years. She found out she had breast cancer when her precious baby boy was one day old. She won over that; then cancer attacked again – in a different part of her body. It just doesn’t seem to let up. I cannot even begin to imagine the burdens she has carried – emotionally and physically. But through it all, she continues to give glory to God.

Then there’s me. I found a tumor. Got it removed. The doctor talks of my being cured. Cancer doctors rarely (if ever) use the word “cure”. Sure, the treatment is rough sometimes, but I wonder why I’ve had it so easy (relatively speaking) when others are fighting the battle of their lives. For me, it’s been one surgery, one year of treatment. Then it’s expected to be gone.

Why was I the one chosen to go down this road and not one more difficult.   Today, I’ve even felt a little guilty that my cancer hasn’t been as bad as so many others.

Don’t get me wrong; I don’t want to take on anyone’s illness. But when I think of Bruce and Denise, I feel like I’ve been down Easy Street.

I know this world is not our home, and we won’t understand until we get to see Jesus. Then, however, the troubles of this life will have faded, and the reasons won’t matter. We will be with God.

I heard a song on the radio this afternoon that gave me some peace, and longing. May it fill you with peace as well. Phillips Craig & Dean, “When the Stars Burn Down”:

When the stars burn down and the earth wears out, And we stand before the throne With the witnesses who have gone before, We will rise and all applaud – Singing blessing and honor, glory and power Forever to our God.

When the hands of time wind fully down, And the earth is rolled up like a scroll; The trumpets will call and the world will fall to its knees as we all go home.

Star of the morning, Light of Salvation, Majesty;  God of all mysteries, Lord of the universe, Righteous King.

There will come a day standing face to face, In a moment, we will be like Him. He will wipe our eyes dry, take us up to His side, and forever we will be His.

Could I ask you to remember the family and friends of Bruce Campbell.  Ask God to hold them close and fill them with comfort that only He can provide.

May God fill you with His peace tonight and always.

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Comments on: "Wondering Why" (2)

  1. Debbie Schmidling said:

    Thanks for sharing this, Kathy! I will keep Pastor Campbell and his family in my prayers. I am also keeping you and your family in my prayers. We serve an awesome God, and I am believing him for your complete healing!

    Love,
    Debbie

  2. Tammy Smith said:

    Don’t feel guilty for asking why. God knows that we are human, and He gave us the ability to ask it, decide if we will hear His answer, and to make a choice. I know it feels like complaining, but you’re still giving a testimony that gives Him the glory. You are LIVING and sharing a faith that few have, but so desparately need. We are commanded to share the Word, and live it. You are doing that, even if it doesn’t feel like it. You never know who is reading your blogs that might need YOUR kind of understanding and encouragement. Someone who will listen to you because “you’ve been there, done that.” I can’t do that. He gives us all an up and down, different journey, and opportunity to use it. You’re doing it! I think of Alan Bryan, his life, his love of Jesus, and all the curves he rode. We all need heros, and you’re mine! I love you! Tammy Smith

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