It’s on to the next leg of this journey – being weaned off all of the medication. Two of the meds I am coming off of are considered highly addictive, one because it calms you and people tend to abuse it – who wouldn’t want to be calm. The other is just flat out hard to come off of. My body feels every single change in dosage.
I started the first change last Friday. The immediate impact is that if I have a sudden spike in stress, it will take me hours to return to normal. (Sunday afternoon, something happened, and it was 8 that night before I started calming down.) However, I am becoming very skilled at deep cleansing breaths.
So, here’s what I feel like most of the day: I cannot focus on more than one thing at a time. Being the reigning Queen of Multi-tasking, this situation is very, very frustrating to me. I have a very low tolerance for stress – and stress is a constant in my day-to-day life. In addition to the stress, I seem to have no filter that keeps me from saying something incredibly sarcastic or downright mean. For the most part, I am not myself.
I want this to be over soon. Actually, I want a lot of things; but I am learning to wait upon the Lord.
Please be assured that I am not doing this without a doctor. Actually I have two doctors watching and tracking my reaction to lower doses of both meds. I’m trying not to push it, but I want this junk out of my system.
Coveting your prayers,